Why does Gen Z not care about national treasures?

Gen Z: Did you see the finale of celeb Traitors last week? Omg, the dramz.

Boomer: I stopped watching. Zero respect for our national treasures.

SMH*. It’s just a game. They didn’t really murder the Scottish bloke from Casualty.

I’m talking about that daft singer asking ‘Who’s Helen Mirren?’ in an earlier challenge.

Cat Burns? Put some respect on her name. She’s only 25 – and a musical genius.

I’m not sure anyone who’s clueless about Helen Mirren and Judi Dench can claim genius status.

FR*, I’ve never heard of them either.

Helen Mirren? Like, the Helen Mirren?! She’s basically the queen.

The only queen I support is Queen B…

Not Beyoncé! Helen Mirren played the actual monarch. And won an Oscar for doing so!

Nope, never heard of her. Is she on TikTok?

Give me strength. Even The Independent’s been questioning ‘why 25-year-olds have such a blind spot when it comes to Britain’s glitterati’.

Jheeez. Why are you getting so pressed about Helen?

It’s not just Helen. It’s Gen Z’s ‘inability to love an entertainer for very long without getting bored and ditching them’. In our day, we adored our stars…

IK*, IK. That’s why you shared that embarrassing post when the Sex And The City bloke died.

*Looks confused*

You know… When Carrie says to Big: ‘Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.’

Do you mean Robert Redford?

That’s the one! I remember cos his name sounds like a law firm.

He wasn’t in Sex And The Cityhe was a Hollywood icon!

No way. Haven’t you seen the TikTok clip from after he died in September?

A compilation of his iconic scenes from The Way We WereI hope…

No, it said: ‘All these news stories mean I finally know why Carrie called him Hubbell.’

Blasphemy – the man co-founded Sundance!

The fake-tan brand?

The Festival! I’m with The Washington Post: Gen Z are the first generation to have no ‘working knowledge of pop culture that came before them’.

Well, at least I recognise people who are actually famous now.

I have a great knowledge of modern celebrities, I’ll have you know.

Oh yeah? Who’s Emma Chamberlain?

She’ll be some long-lost descendant of Neville who’s now foraying into modelling, surely?

Be serious. She’s a 24-year-old YouTuber who gets four million views per video and is so big, she hosts the Met Gala’s red-carpet coverage.

That was a trick question! Give me another…

Fine, who hosts Chicken Shop Date?

I don’t know… the CEO of Nando’s?

Amelia Dimoldenberg! She was literally in Vogue! She’s only 31 and she’s basically become the most famous person in the UK.

By eating peri-peri chicken wings on YouTube?

By hosting hilarious interviews in London chicken shops.

I’m not By the way with all those influencer types. I prefer my celebrities to have actual talent.

Actual talent? Please. In one TikTok with well over a million views, someone’s Boomer mum refers to nine-time Grammy winner Billie Eilish as ‘Billie Eyelashes’.

That’s just a slip of the tongue.

In another clip with nearly a million views, someone’s mum calls Timothée Chalamet ‘Timothée Charlamaze’.

To be fair to her, it’s not the easiest name to pronounce.

The best bit? It wasn’t even ‘Timothée Charlamaze’ in the picture. It was Jeremy Allen White.

That’s understandable. They’ve both got that moody and malnourished look.

It’s called aesthetic.

It’s called anaemia.

Come on, there must be some celebrity we both know?

Hmmmm. Joan Collins?

No clue. What about Lil Nas X?

Sounds like a sports car. Maybe Kylie?

Yes! The absolute kween and icon!

Something we agree on. She and Jason are what you lot would call #couplegoals.

Jason Jason? You’re Timothée?

I think I know their names. I had a poster of them together on my bedroom wall.

You had a poster of Kylie Jenner?

No! Minogue.

Wait, there are two Kylies?

There’s only one that matters.

The youngest of the Kardashians?

I’m sticking to the 1980s pop icon.

Cos you can’t Keep Up with the Kulture?

Because Better The Devil You Know.

*SMH = Shaking my head

*FR = For real

*IK = I know