We’ve all witnessed it: a stunning woman walking into a restaurant hand in hand with an ugly dude.

I’ll admit I’ve unfairly assumed the guy must be rich, or if I’m feeling particularly crude, that he has a big pecker.

But, in a plot twist ugly guys didn’t see coming… there’s a chance this babe chose them for an entirely different, albeit still strategic, reason.

Let me introduce you to ‘shrekking’, the latest dating trend sweeping TikTok. It’s a lesson in what happens when we think we can cheat heartbreak by lowering the bar.

The theory goes like this: if you’re tired of being ghosted by gorgeous men with six-packs and commitment issues, you start ‘dating down’.

You deliberately pick someone you know is below your usual standards – maybe he’s shorter than you, maybe he’s broke, maybe his hairline is creeping back – on the assumption that because you’re out of his league, he’ll cling to you like Gollum to the ring. 

You won’t get hurt, because why would the swamp troll ever leave the princess… right?

Divorce lawyers are already nodding sagely, saying this might not be the worst idea. 

New York’s leading divorce attorney, James Sexton, told me: ‘There’s an argument to be made that this is a smart idea.

‘You know, a wise man once said, “Marry someone who is just attractive enough to turn you on to want to have sex with them…” If you go any higher than that, you’re playing above the rim and there’s a power dynamic that’s going to be screwed up. 

‘You’re going to have an imbalance of power between the two of you. And I think that’s something people are starting to realise and I think they’re starting to say, “Wait a minute, work smarter not harder and this might be a good idea.”‘

He’s not wrong.  

I’ve tried it myself. During lockdown, I found myself nursing an achy heart from a silly football player, when a shorter, bald man came into my orbit.

When I got Covid he brought me over meals and checked in on me daily. He was not my usual type at all, but all his kindness during a fragile time made me see him in a new light.

So I gave it a go, and surprised myself by falling madly in love with him. What he lacked in height, he made up for with a big deep voice, strong personality and fierce temper… which I know sounds insane, but what can I say, it was a huge turn-on. 

Anyway, I distinctly remember thinking he was a lovely, safe option because no other women would be flinging themselves at him.

Well… they weren’t, but it turns out he certainly was flinging himself at them. I soon discovered he was sliding into the DMs of all my hottest friends. 

In fact, I remember him coming out with me one night and practically salivating over one of my gorgeous pals, who’d got a little too tipsy that night. 

The next day she texted me, asking me why he had slid into her DMs to ‘check how the hangover was’.

Umm… not necessary for someone he’d only just met. After digging into his online activities, I quickly discovered he was one of those serial-likers on hot girls’ Instagram accounts. If you’ve ever posted a bikini shot, there’s a fair chance my guy had liked it.

Instant ick.

And that’s why I believe shrekking always backfires. Always. Because even the most ‘below your league’ bloke has access to the same buffet of options as everyone else – thank you, Tinder. 

Just because you think you’re doing him a favour, doesn’t mean he’s going to be grateful. In fact, half the time, it’ll be him who ends up doing the dumping. He gets a taste of your shiny world, realises he can pull above his league, and suddenly he’s off shagging the Pilates instructor down the road.

Every woman I know has a version of this story. We give the ‘nice guy’ with the dodgy haircut a chance because we assume he’ll worship the ground we walk on.

Instead, he ends up cheating with a barista named Jess and we’re left wondering how the troll in Crocs managed to break our heart.

As one TikToker summed it up perfectly: ‘We give the guy we’re not attracted to a chance, thinking that he’ll treat us well. And then we get traumatised by a whole troll.’

And it’s not just women doing it. Men shrek all the time. They date women they find less attractive or less ‘socially valuable’ thinking it’ll guarantee loyalty, only to be left stunned when things still end badly.

The brutal truth is: you cannot outsmart heartbreak by dating someone you secretly think is beneath you. Love with someone ‘ugly’ isn’t an insurance policy. And any relationship built on the smug assumption that ‘I hold the power’ by virtue of being more attractive is doomed the second the other person realises they’re not actually as lucky as you think they are.

So yes, shrekking sounds like great news for guys who struggle to get laid. Finally, women are giving them a chance! But ladies, if you think this tactic will keep you safe from rejection, brace yourself. Because trolls break hearts too.

And when they do, it stings twice as much.

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