So many divorcing women make these mistakes and pay dearly for them, says top divorce lawyer Sheela. These are the photos, holidays, dress hires and what you MUST not say that can cost you a fortune

The divorce courts are probably the last thing on your mind when you’re considering your next Instagram post. But like it or not, our digital footprint follows us everywhere we go – and is more prescient than ever when you’re getting divorced.

As a family lawyer of 30 years, I’m seeing an increasing number of clients accidentally torpedo their divorces with what they post on social media, from glamorous holiday shots to pictures of their children.

Seemingly innocent snaps can end up costing you serious money, harming financial settlements and – in some cases – even affecting time with your children.

So if you are going through a break-up in today’s hyper-digital world, what should you be aware of? Here is my expert advice on the digital pitfalls that could cost you dearly…

SOCIAL MEDIA IS A SILENT WITNESS

Social media may feel harmless, but in divorce it can become a silent witness – and rarely a friendly one.

You may think posting a picture of the Chanel bag you’ve long saved up for, or a gleaming new car, won’t do any more damage than make your friends jealous, but it can hand your ex powerful ammunition.

Family law relies on full and honest financial disclosure from both sides and aims to get a fair financial outcome for everyone. So if your online persona paints you living a lavish lifestyle, even if this impression is a misleading one, your ex can argue that you’re wealthier than you claim and the court will take that seriously.

Divorce lawyer Sheela Mackintosh-Stewart says social media can ‘damage your credibility and potentially your financial settlement’

Assume every social media post is public evidence. Opposing solicitors routinely trawl social media for inconsistencies between your lifestyle and what you’ve disclosed and will challenge you. If your posts hint at hidden wealth or assets, the court can also infer they exist, damaging your credibility and potentially your financial settlement.

BE UPFRONT WITH YOUR SOLICITOR

With increasing availability of rentals on anything from designer gowns and Birkin bags to tropical villas, it’s easy for our online persona to seem far more wealthy than we are. And that can raise awkward questions in divorce.

So if anything online could be misread, tell your solicitor upfront. Keep receipts or rental confirmations to show you don’t actually own those big-ticket items.

But whatever you do, don’t delete posts. Scrubbing your social media after a break-up is a glaring red flag to your ex’s legal team. It screams ‘I’m hiding something’. And deleted posts can be recovered.

DON’T SPLASH THE CASH TOO EARLY

Maybe you’ve been stuck in a miserable marriage for years and now finally want to splash out on that dream holiday and worry about the money later, even though your divorce has not yet been finalised.

My advice? Don’t. This kind of splurge can make you look reckless, and end up hurting you in the courts.

You could end up paying for that blow-out holiday twice over if your ex’s legal team asks for the costs to be added back into the marriage money pot

If your spending in the run-up to your divorce significantly differs from your usual monthly outgoings, your ex’s legal team can ask for those costs to be added back into the marriage money pot before the final financial split. So you could end up paying for that blow-out holiday twice over and put yourself in unnecessary financial jeopardy.

If you do treat yourself, best keep it offline.

SHIELD CHILDREN FROM CROSSFIRE

Divorce ends a marriage but not a family. If you have children, the courts will always prioritise their emotional welfare. Children need stability, not animosity. That’s why staying as civil as possible, and also respecting your ex’s wishes with regards to parenting choices really matters.

One major flashpoint? Posting children online.

I often see cases where one parent wants their children completely offline but the other enjoys posting every school activity. If your ex asks you not to post pictures of the children and you ignore it, they can challenge custody and contact arrangements.

TRASH-TALK MUST NOT APPEAR ONLINE

Recently one of my clients vented online about how awful her ex was – raw, emotional, angry posts. A mutual friend screenshotted them and sent them straight to her ex-husband! He then used them as ‘evidence’ that she was emotionally unstable, and she faced an uphill battle to prove otherwise. Keep rants offline.

Keep receipts and rental confirmations to show you don’t actually own those hired big-ticket items

AND FINALLY…

I urge clients to stay as offline as possible during a split. Anything posted could be twisted, misread or weaponised.

If you can’t, the next best thing is to lock everything down. Set your profiles to private. Remove your ex and anyone in their orbit from your followers. Be wary of new follow requests – they could be fake accounts set up to monitor you.