As a 49

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People often assume that, as a French sexologist, I spend my life in lace and lipstick. But real sexiness has very little to do with what you put on – and everything to do with how you feel underneath.

Both professionally – and personally, as a 49-year-old divorcee – I don’t believe sensuality is exclusively the preserve of the young or daring. It belongs to every woman who chooses to feel present in her body.

When it comes to fashion, that means choosing clothes not for others, but for how they make you feel. Sometimes that means soft fabrics that move with your body; other times, a structured suit that grounds you in quiet power.

French designers are particularly good at creating clothes that tap into that sensuality. The good news – especially for me as I now live in London – is that you don’t have to go to Paris to buy them. The High Street is flooded with French brands I love. Sessun, a really cool label I’ve worn for years, Balzac Paris’s beautiful fluid styles and, er, Uniqlo, not French but their creative director has come from Givenchy – and it shows. Their chic, reliable basics just pull together an outfit.

Truly sexy clothes aren’t about attracting anyone else – they’re about honouring my own aliveness.

That’s what I call embodied confidence: confidence that radiates from within because it’s rooted in comfort and ease. When your clothes feel like an extension of your energy, you exude something magnetic.

At The Pleasure Atelier (thepleasureatelier.co.uk), the space I created for women to reconnect with their pleasure, we begin from this same principle. Pleasure isn’t about seduction or chasing approval, but noticing what feels good – and allowing more of it.

That’s a radical shift for many women, especially in mid-life. We’re told desire fades, that sensuality has an expiry date. I see the opposite. Mid-life is often when women begin to awaken again. It’s when we stop performing and start asking: What do I actually want now? Clothes can be a way of reclaiming identity, confidence, and joy.

In France, we don’t equate sexy with revealing – we equate it with assurance. A crisp white shirt left slightly open, a blazer that fits perfectly, a scent that lingers when you walk away. Sensuality lives in the details – and in the confidence of knowing who you are.

Pleasure isn’t a luxury, it’s essential. And your clothes can be an everyday source of pleasure that makes you feel more alive, more sensual.

And that sensuality doesn’t disappear with age, it deepens. It becomes wiser, calmer, more self-directed. So choose clothes that make you feel alive. Because when you dress from a place of pleasure – for comfort, confidence, and joy – you stop chasing beauty and start embodying it. And that, truly, is the most irresistible look of all.

Practical femininity

I love how practical yet feminine this piece feels. It’s tactile, confident, and allows me to move freely – a reminder that feeling sexy doesn’t mean being restricted.

Relaxed power

I chose this because it makes me feel powerful yet relaxed.

The sharp tailoring grounds me, while the soft cotton keeps it effortless – a balance of strength and ease that defines modern sensuality.

Soft movement

Light, soft, and full of movement, this dress lets me play.

It captures the feeling of being at ease in my body – feminine without trying to be.

Joyous celebration

Red, for me, symbolises vitality rather than seduction.

This look is about joy and self-expression – a celebration of energy, not exposure.

Grounded strength

I chose this combination for its grounded elegance.

The earthy rust feels strong; the ivory adds calm. It mirrors the duality of my own energy – power and softness in dialogue.

Red and white shirt look

This one feels playful and imperfectly French. The stripes bring a sense of humour to elegance – a wink to pleasure found in everyday details.

Scarf coat

Calm, composed, and self-assured. I chose it for its serenity – the kind of outfit that doesn’t shout, but quietly says: I’m here, and I feel good.

Trench coat look

The trench moves beautifully when I walk, brushing my skin like a whisper. The red adds energy and life. It’s sensuality expressed through comfort, not effort.

Cardigan and jeans look

This look reminds me that sensuality can be casual. I love how the silk catches the light against denim – textures that feel good together, like a conversation between comfort and luxury.

Silk blouse look

Understated, classic, and confident. This is how I love to feel at this stage in life – aligned, present, and quietly powerful.