The greatest torment of Sian McLear’s life in jail wasn’t the haunting sound of steel kissing steel, but knowing this was where her infant son, George, was growing up.

Spending five days a week with George in the mother and baby unit at the women’s prison was an awful reminder of how her actions had stolen her freedom and jeopardised her son’s future.

It had all begun with a flutter at the bingo with colleagues years earlier, but quickly spiralled into a ‘horrendous’ gambling addiction that would eventually see her locked up for stealing.

At 24, she had thought the game was harmless, so didn’t think twice about keeping the fun going at home by downloading the app.

After all, it meant she got a free game.

But that decision – giving her access to gambling in her pocket 24/7 – was the beginning of her descent into addiction.

‘I remember my first win – I had a free spin and won £50 (AU$102). I thought, “Wow, that was so easy,”‘ Sian, from Liverpool, told the Daily Mail.

‘But it escalated so quickly that I was playing in bed all night unable to sleep and was spending more than I earned.’

Soon after the first night, Sian downloaded more gambling apps, mesmerised by the lights and sounds of slot machines, known as pokie machines in Australia.

Initially, her stakes were modest – mere pence, seemingly insignificant.

Yet, the hypnotic mix of blaring lights and music soon had her completely hooked.

‘To me, I never really saw it as an issue. I thought it was a game. There was no physical cash exchange, I was just seeing numbers on a screen. Meanwhile, it was draining my bank account after being in a trance for hours,’ she said.

‘We’re not warned about the impacts of gambling like we are with drugs and alcohol. Gambling is so normalised.’

Throughout the day, app notifications constantly buzzed on Sian’s phone, relentlessly urging her to play.

Her evenings became a ritual: sitting on the sofa, eyes glued to her phone, gambling.

She steadily increased her bets until, one day, her bank balance hit zero. How had this happened? she thought. But instead of realising she had to stop, she resorted to borrowing money to continue gambling.

‘I was getting myself into a lot of debt through payday loans, regular loans and multiple credit cards. I was able to deposit money using my mobile phone and I’d have a £1,000 (AU$2,049) bill at the end of the month,’ Sian said.

‘It got to a point where I owed more than I was making each month.’

Then in a relationship for a year with her now-husband Ray, Sian meticulously concealed her habit from him and everyone else.

‘For me, it was never about winning money, it was the need and desire to play,’ Sian explained.

Sian couldn’t pinpoint when her gambling became uncontrollable, yet shame prevented her from confiding in anyone as her funds dwindled each month.

‘I didn’t want anyone else finding out because I was embarrassed that I didn’t have any money. I didn’t understand how I had got into this mess. But I still didn’t realise it was an addiction,’ she said.

‘I was playing every day, every night, constantly. It was all I thought about.’

Sian once attempted to stop, but within a week, a predatory email arrived from the gambling company: ‘Come back, we miss you.’

The company then deposited £500 (AU$1,025) free of charge, an enticement that dragged Sian straight back into the cycle.

It kept happening, month after month: running out of funds triggered panic, followed by a sickening worry about how to recoup her losses.

‘I remember thinking, “I’m going to win big again, I will,”‘ Sian said.

‘Before I knew it, I was secretly staying up waiting for my husband to fall asleep while I stayed up all night playing slots on my phone.

‘I was physically incapable of stopping until every last penny in my bank account had been spent. I would then lie awake worried sick about how I was going to get all the money back.

‘I’d got myself in that much of a mess that I couldn’t see a way out of the debt, which is when I turned to what I believed was the only way out: I stole money from work.’

As a finance manager, Sian held a trusted position at her workplace, enabling her to steal company funds with the misguided intention of repaying them.

Sian felt she was leading a double life: ‘two different people’ – the public persona and the secret gambler and thief.

‘I had to put on this persona that I was okay when my mental health was drastically declining,’ she said.

‘I was good at my job but my work started to suffer.’

On several occasions, her boss discreetly questioned if she had issues with drugs or alcohol; gambling was never suspected.

‘Once, I said my friend gambled and was having an issue, but it was really me. No one thought I could be the one with the problem and it was so easy to hide,’ she said.

Even when Sian desperately wanted to stop, she found herself utterly powerless.

‘I hated what I was doing. I hated the lies. I hated everything. I thought about getting a new job, hoping it might help stop the stealing. Every day I hoped I would get caught because it would have stopped it,’ she added.

‘I remember once I won £15,000 (AU$30,740) and lost it all in six minutes. I won it on a £1,000 (AU$2,049) spin.’

Then, in November 2017, Sian’s world ‘fell apart’.

First, joy: she discovered she was pregnant. But that very same day brought devastation: she was sacked.

‘That was rock bottom for me. How do I bring a baby into the world? But it was also my saviour because when would it have stopped? I don’t know,’ she said.

A few months later, in January 2018, a court order arrived, informing Sian she was under investigation by her former employer for theft.

‘That’s when I finally told Mum, Dad, and Ray about my gambling problem,’ Sian said.

‘I broke down in tears. It was horrendous, but I’m incredibly thankful they rallied to support me.’

Days later, Ray confessed he had suspected her of having an affair, attributing it to her secretive phone use.

‘Hearing that broke my heart,’ she admitted.

A week later, police knocked on her door, requesting that she come to the station for an interview.

The interview, lasting approximately two and a half hours, saw Sian confess everything. Afterwards, officers told her she seemed almost relieved to have been caught – like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

‘It was so cathartic to finally be able to tell somebody what I’d been going through for all these years. I told them that I wasn’t a horrible person.’

Police revealed she had stolen an astonishing £320,000 (AU$655,800) from her employer over three years – an amount that left even Sian in shock

‘I was physically sick hearing that, I thought there was no way. In my head, I was always going to win and pay it back. But my logic was that I wasn’t doing it maliciously.’

While awaiting her court date, Sian knew a custodial sentence was likely and lived in fear that her baby would be taken from her.

Thankfully, she discovered Beacon Counselling Trust, a charity offering free support for gambling-related harm. Speaking to a therapist there, she believes, saved her life.

By her first court hearing, she had not gambled for nine months; her son, George, was then four months old.

In late January 2019, Sian received a sentence of two years and eight months in prison.

During her incarceration, Sian faced moments of utter despair, but her family and son provided an unshakeable reason to live.

‘For the first month, I put pictures up on the walls of family, but I couldn’t put pictures up of George. I couldn’t look at him without crying. I kept thinking, “This is my fault. What have I done?”‘ she said.

‘But I knew I had committed a crime and needed to get on with it.’

Sian was sent to a women’s prison with a structured routine, allowing inmates to work and earn money. Crucially, a mother and baby unit meant George could stay with her during the week, returning to Ray at weekends.

As few babies were in the unit, George often benefited from one-on-one time with the nursery teacher, Sian noted.

Determined not to waste her time in prison, Sian seized every available resource and opportunity. She learned hairdressing, worked in the prison salon, applied for university, completed a counselling course, and gained a food hygiene certificate.

Sian served just one year of her sentence, and was released on January 31, 2020, followed by six months on a watch list.

She subsequently graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in criminology and psychology from Liverpool John Moores University, and now serves as the Education and Brief Intervention Lead at Beacon Counselling Trust.

‘I believe everything happens for a reason, and George definitely saved my life – as did the company I now work for.’

Her goal is now to challenge perceptions of gambling addiction and provide comprehensive support to those struggling.

‘In the UK alone, 90 per cent of employers have a drugs and alcohol policy, but they don’t have a gambling policy in place. This has to change and is something we’re advocating for,’ she said.

To book a free counselling session with Beacon Counselling Trust UK, click here

If you need support, call the Gamblers Helpline AU on 1800 858 858 or Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14

Source Notice:

This article is republished from
www.dailymail.co.uk
on 2025-09-23 22:16:00.
Content and views belong to the original publisher, not UAE Today News.